Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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