He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
