lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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