the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
