Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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