You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
