I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
