bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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