He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize