im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
