I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize