Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Randomize
