he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
