So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize