i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize