but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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