batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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