so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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