I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
