I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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