spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
