At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
