sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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