Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
