margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
