We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
