Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
