ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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