Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize