Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
