Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just want nice things and good sex
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
