After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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