I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
