If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Girls should come with a carfax report
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
