i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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