He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize