they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I did not marry a roomba.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
