I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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