Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
