i permit you to call me
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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