Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
