Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
