a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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