Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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