Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
