You work out of a Hotel?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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