Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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