We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
