I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
tell me about the fingering
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
