I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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