He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
