Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
