I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
