Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize