just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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