already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
