i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
