Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
