Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize