I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
