Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize