But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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