It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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