I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
