I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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