I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
