kristin has been a bad kristin
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
