She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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