We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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